Struggling to find the divine within

I put on the coral maxi dress and ran right into my bedroom. It felt cute and flowing and soo very comfortable. It felt like it fit good, no, I take that back, it felt like it fit great. Maybe a bit snug in the chest, but what else was new with my linebacker-like back and shoulders.

I ran in the bedroom so excited to see my reflection. I felt pretty. I felt like this was going to be a keeper.

My biggest battle

I have been having a 20+ year battle. A 20+ year battle that is never easy. A 20+ year battle that often leaves me angry, frustrated and disappointed in myself, all which just serves as fuel to the fire.

Looking back at childhood photos it looks like the battle began around the 4th grade...so I guess that would make me about 9 years old and make this a 26-year battle. Prior to then school pictures looked different. Prior to that tightly permed hair and white sweater with purple and pink hearts, there was a thinner face and a thinner Patty, overall.

When the compliments stop

This isn't my first rodeo, you may say. As someone who has struggled with her weight since about the 4th grade, I know how this goes. When you are on your way down, size wise, weight-wise, etc. everyone seems to notice and compliment and encourage. When you are on the way back-up, there is nothing but silence and the silence is deafening.