Friday, March 29, 2013


I have been thinking about money a lot lately. I know we talk about it all the time as Americans, especially. We appear to be obsessed by it at times. It rules our world, it rules our existence and in too many ways it decides who rises and who falls. It decides whose voice is heard, who succeeds and who gets to pave out the path of the future. It brings many of us to early deaths due to overworking and over stressing. While it has so much power, its lack is almost more damaging. With so many hungry, homeless and working poor, it not only makes us, its lack breaks us.

Friday, March 15, 2013

My crazy ass on birth control....

Now before I get started, please know this is in no way an anti birth control blog. Anyone that knows me knows that I support Planned Parenthood, a women's right to choose, birth control, sex education in our schools and educating your children about how to have sex responsibly, from an early age. This blog is just my small attempt to try and have us, as women, start to think more about how we are feeling every day, how we should expect to be able to feel and not be so afraid to speak up and ask questions when we don't feel our best.

Monday, March 11, 2013

Passion and purpose......

For years I have had a children's/tweens series in my head. I have developed book titles, character names and even plots for each. At this point, I feel like it is my Everest.

I started my blog, nearly a year ago, for a few reasons. One reason was that I really wanted to get back into the habit of writing. I wanted to practice, I wanted to work on style, structure, grammar, all the stuff that appears to have been covered when I was pulled out of class for Project Acorn as a child. I also started my blog because I felt like it was a fun time in my life, a time I wanted to reflect on, think about and as always, last but not least, there is always a desire to learn and grow and improve myself. I thought a blog would be a great exercise on so many levels. I would be lying to myself though, if I didn't also admit that I was also secretly hoping that out of my blogs would come these magical and infamous book(s) I continue to reference in close circles.

Well, it is March and I have over 60 blog posts and yet still not one chapter of any of these books. I do not even think that I have a sentence. You have to understand, since college I have started maybe 10 different books. I am hit with a huge burst of energy and inspiration. I sit down at night with my laptop and bust out like 10 pages of randomness. Most of my writings are very stream of consciousness. I was never very good at organizing my papers. I used to hate making outlines when I was in high school, college and even grad school. It just didn't feel genuine. Words come to me as flow, they come to me in waves and when I stop to plan this out, I totally stop the natural flow of the words. Words come to me in the shower, on the subway and as I walk home from night. Other than jotting down blog topics, I have yet to find a way to utilize outlining in my writing.

Now, I am self aware enough to know that this sometimes lends itself to run-on sentences, thought processes that could be more flushed out and sometimes downright confusing statements. I realize all of this. I also know that my inability to be succinctt in much of what I write is what caused me to get B's vs. A's in all of my college writing classes. I have a hard time holding back and editing. I realize all of this is something that needs to be addressed. I realized most people do not go into what they got B's in, but if you look at my record between Astronomy/Physics and Writing, it is rather typical for me, go figure.

I think what has been most difficult as far as starting my book(s) is concerned, is just that. I do not know how to start. I write so stream of consciousness, I just cannot decide if the book should be written in third person or first person.  I also cannot decide if the book should be written as if the events are occurring presently, or if it would be better to write it more Stand By Me-like, with narration looking back at times in childhood. I know, I know, at some point I just need to bite the bullet and start writing. I like to think it will come together eventually. I just have no doubt how much work this will all be. I am just hopeful I will find the time, inspiration and patience I need to get it done.

If nothing else, at some point, there will be random mass amounts of books and topics started and never finished by the infamous Patricia Landry.

I think the other reason I may have difficulty with starting is because I feel like they need to be meaningful and instill some great knowledge onto future generations. I feel like I should be spending my time on things that will help. Why even in my writing am I so concerned of what other people think?  I am not sure that these books will help, but I selfishly really want to at least try. I feel like I just want to make a difference in this world and help when I can and I guess I just continue to struggle and figure out how I can be utilized in this wonderful world of ours. So, just as outlining messes with my flow, second guessing the story is also stopping my flow.

I guess I just need to carve out some time, at some point and just get started. Here's to hoping I can find the flow and the motivation to get started. Asking the universe for guidance on passion and purpose and some good energy flow.....

That's all she wrote...

Thursday, March 7, 2013

I want a label...but not that one......

So the past three weeks have been challenging, frustrating, scary, confusing, inspiring, and hopeful. For the first time, in a long time, I find myself wanting a label....but not that one....

You see, for the past three weeks, I have been going on a "fun" and "eventful" journey. I have to frame it this way or it makes me want to pull my hair out. The journey, let's just call it, "What Patty should do to feel her best." I was going to initially call the journey "what is wrong with Patty," but I really don't think there is anything wrong with me. This is all a journey for me to try and figure out how I can feel my best. What I can do to wake up feeling good, feel motivated throughout the day, not feel anxious, eat well, and be healthy.