Let go of the hate.....

The words came this morning while taking a shower
a bolt of lighting, a force of power

a right once won by fighting and dying
has turned to victories through hate and lying
i cannot believe it is 2012
i think i have landed in almost certain hell

The life of an introvert

I know I have talked about this before and I am not quite sure why it took me so long to come out of the introvert closet. I think for much of my life, I have been super involved. Whether in student government, athletics or as a volunteer. I have always liked staying busy. I think that many times my desire to stay busy could very well come across to some as a tendency of an extrovert. Interesting, because this could not be further from the truth.

My involvement has caused me to really feel like I needed to be an extrovert. I realized I could play the part. I could make myself kind of an extrovert, when necessary. Like much of my personality, I am able to have on-demand traits when appropriate, necessary or when no one else is filling that "void." I think this comes from always feeling like I need to balance out those around me.

The new "majority"

I have been thinking about a lot lately. Having many conversations with Greg, with friends. After last night, I first need to do a human check, I need to do an empathy check. The first thing I tried to do last night, as a New Englander and a liberal who has often lived through defeat and come out the other side, I tried to put myself in Mitt Romney's shoes, in his supporters shoes. I tried to put myself in his staff's shoes. Regardless of who you voted for, you have a man who has basically been running for president since what, 2007? or so? He ran in 2008 and was not chosen as the nominee, but he has been running since then. You have a husband, father and grandfather who believed in his heart and in his soul that he was the man for this job. He believed he could do better and he worked tirelessly during the past at least 5 years to try and make that happen.

The quiet.....

When I was little, quiet was all I wanted. I know I have discussed my night time issues again and again, but apparently, it is something I am still working through, thinking about and processing. I would sit in my bed at night and just listen. I would listen, hoping for silence, but would always get noise.

A car driving by outside, cricks and creeks downstairs, people talking, my parents watching a scary movie. Almost anything would get me out of bed. I would get out of bed and assume my nightly position on the top of the stairs. I would sit down on the top of the stars and hug my knees close as I listened. It is amazing how much background noise you can hear when you try. I would hear what I am sure what the house settling, but in my mind it was a huge gang of burglars and they were coming to steal me, or worse kill me. I know, crazy childhood imagination, right. I always say my imagination was my best and worst friend all at the same time. During daylight hours, my imagination was spectacular. I would play and build and invent and travel to so many magical places. At night, I was a sitting duck awaiting fire, theft, kidnapping or murder, for sure.

A "have"....................

I always considered myself lucky and grateful. Knowing I never necessarily "deserved" what I had and could just have easily been born anywhere. I guess while I always knew this and knew I never deserved anything I had, I was always truly grateful for what I did have. Not that I haven't worked hard for where I am, but I had no control over where I began.

I have to admit that living through Sandy has been challenging for reasons I never imagined. I feel ridiculously guilty for sitting here on Friday evening, watching the NBC concert in my electricity-filled apartment, after recently purchasing pizza and wine from our local pizzeria and wine shop. I was able to take a subway, or bus if I wanted and never suffered any type of flood or property damage and kept our electricity and hot water for the entire storm!