For all of the parents out there, how do you deal with this? My parents had nothing but love and support for me, yet I felt this way as a child. What can I do when I have children to ensure this isn't a cycle??
Three Years and Five Days
Same man, same woman, three years and five days later
Same family, same clothes--in the beginning
Same school system, same town under the same sky
Eyes towards the heavens gazing at the stars
Make up sessions and hoots and hollers
Versus games of catch and words of “it’s what is on the inside that counts”
Comments of Popeye and the marvel of muscles
Versus a sixth grade diet when I was not old enough to know better
Co-captain, versus captain, secretary versus president,
Always one step further, erasing my history and creating a better one,
Or so it seamed…..
Nights of tears and anger, confusion and envy,
What was so special, what was I missing?
Of course he wants you
Hang up the phone
No one understands
My face gets hot, the tears run down and my confusion rises…
The memories continue….
Greetings and salutations of “don’t you look beautiful”
Followed by blank stares and sealed lips
In the spotlight, the ever-comedian all eyes follow
In the shadows the same comedian and energy lingers with no way to shine.
Competing with expectations, family and history
Living the life I feel I am suppose to live versus the one that wants to jump out of me
Learning who I am from others
How do I forget?
The Mass Pike brings back these feelings each time I travel
I feel myself slipping away as I pass Lynch’s
As I turn onto Oak Street my humor and confidence disappear
Anger, doubt and envy fill their shoes.
Not on purpose, I can place no blame
Yet I don’t understand
Same man, same woman, three years and five days later.