Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Night


 A few years back, I wrote some poems, I may use this blog as a way to share some of them. I have never shared them before, so please, be gentle.... This first poem is trying to capture the fear and difficulty I have always had with the dark, night and trying to sleep. 

I am sometimes still unsure how I survived those scary, sleepless nights.  The amount of fear I had as a child makes me sad. It makes me wish I could hug my 8 year old self. While things are a bit better, to this day, I struggle with the night

Night
the sun sets behind the clouds
looking up at the sky i smile
morphing as i walk up my stairs to bed
slowly…….


maybe tonight will be different
my rosary and statues will protect me
i will be at peace with the dark

as i lay down
blankets to my chin
windows locked and shut
sweat pours down my face
another 90 degree august night
stuffed animals to my left,
my furksin to my right
protection from the dark
from the thoughts and fright

eyes closed followed by hopes of sweet dreams
the clock ticks……..
what was that?
an hour passes………
is someone downstairs?
1 a.m. ………………………
what if someone breaks in?
I can still get 4 hours…..
katey did you hear that?
Patty, go back to sleep………
Do I smell smoke
Mom and dad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
what if i die?
The sun again…………
i am afriad to die

thoughts an eight year old should never have
where did they come from
why did they take so long to go away

laying on the cold bathroom floor
cool upon my body
tears streaming down my face
fear
the dark
fear
the unknown
fear
the light makes me calm
takes away my fear
until tomorrow
when it starts again.


Coming up next:

Letting Go

Morals and ethics in an ever polarized world

What if?

Babies

Hampton Memories

The day


And thats all she wrote...
Patty

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