I have to admit, the magical thinker in me is a bit fearful that this blog will either cause me to jinx myself (and I actually will die tomorrow), or if nothing else trigger an anxiety attack when I suddenly begin believing that each ache, pain and quickened heart beat is in fact terminal.
I have been thinking about this a lot lately, how precious and fragile life is and how none of us know how much time we have left. It can be scary and it can be inspiring. It can be scary, for me anyways, because I feel like there is so much I would want my loved ones to know. You never know if you will get to say good bye and you want nothing more than for your loved ones to be ok. It scares me to think I could die and never get to say thank you, I love you, I am sorry, I forgive you or I understand.
Showing posts with label Goonies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Goonies. Show all posts
Monday, October 22, 2012
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
What 5 year olds teach me
A more appropriate title for this blog is probably, what kids teach me, but I figured I would narrow it down a bit more, as kids can be a bit harder to define.
I feel like I spent my entire childhood wishing away the wonderful moments. I couldn't wait until I could go on dates, I couldn't wait until I could drive a car, I couldn't wait until I lived on my own, I couldn't wait until I had no curfew, could drink, could vote, could go to college, could get married and could have kids. From the time I was about 10 years old, I feel like I spent my entire childhood waiting for the next big moment. The next big event. I was always living for that next moment.
I look back on those years wishing I had fully enjoyed and embraced my ability to live in the moment and just be a kid. Sure, other than excitedly awaiting my birthday and Christmas each year, I think I did a pretty good job living in the moment when I was under 10. Kid enough to not yet realize the things I was supposed to feel like I was missing out on. I often feel very grateful that I was the oldest child in my immediate family, at least I didn't have an older sibling making me wish I would grow up even faster, even more so than I already was. Don't get me wrong, I had plenty of friends with older siblings that gave me glimpses of the life I had to look forward to, when I was in middle school (that infamous 8th grade dinner dance), when I was in high school and all of the parties (ha ha that never happened), sports and proms and then when I was in college.
I feel like I spent my entire childhood wishing away the wonderful moments. I couldn't wait until I could go on dates, I couldn't wait until I could drive a car, I couldn't wait until I lived on my own, I couldn't wait until I had no curfew, could drink, could vote, could go to college, could get married and could have kids. From the time I was about 10 years old, I feel like I spent my entire childhood waiting for the next big moment. The next big event. I was always living for that next moment.
I look back on those years wishing I had fully enjoyed and embraced my ability to live in the moment and just be a kid. Sure, other than excitedly awaiting my birthday and Christmas each year, I think I did a pretty good job living in the moment when I was under 10. Kid enough to not yet realize the things I was supposed to feel like I was missing out on. I often feel very grateful that I was the oldest child in my immediate family, at least I didn't have an older sibling making me wish I would grow up even faster, even more so than I already was. Don't get me wrong, I had plenty of friends with older siblings that gave me glimpses of the life I had to look forward to, when I was in middle school (that infamous 8th grade dinner dance), when I was in high school and all of the parties (ha ha that never happened), sports and proms and then when I was in college.
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