Too smart for spirit......

Even just typing this title makes my heart go up in my throat. I have been thinking about this all weekend and it is scary to be honest with myself and get this down on paper. All weekend I have been trying to find a way to be helpful and trying to really find my purpose and a way to be of service and this blog title just kept coming to mind.

I am not even quite sure how to begin this, but likely that is because more than anything, I am always so afraid of what others think. I often feel like a ping pong ball that pays so much attention to the feedback I get from others in an effort to help me decide which way to go next. Versus, being honest and true and open about myself, my beliefs and how I feel.

As I child, I worked hard to find the path of least resistance. As a child that FEARED conflict and disapproval, I put all my energy and effort into reading people. This assessment was then used to make the decisions that would cause the least friction, conflict, anger, etc. Meaning, in essence, I wasn't making decisions that I necessarily wanted to make, was passionate about making, etc. I was really making decisions on this magical method I had found, my own path of least resistance.

Let's talk, no seriously, let's......

So, there are so many places I could take this blog and so many things I want to say. I am not sure how well or cohesive any of this will be.  After initially deciding I would sleep on all of this, my brain just won't stop and I need to get this out.

Unconditional Love....

Sometimes I feel like such a baby. Someone says one thing to me and it hurts my feelings. When my feelings get hurt, they get hurt really bad. I have no doubt I am super sensitive and this is something I really need to work on. I feel like I have been trying to work on it for so long and I am proud to report that I do not burst into tears as easy as I use to, but I still do often find myself holding them back.

Be the change .......a work in progress

I apologize in advance for posting this a bit prematurely. I am only hoping it inspries me to complete my rantings. I normally get all fired up about something and then I lose the inspiration and don't complete my thoughts. Here's to hoping a premature post will inspire actual completion, for once!

Be the change

Leotards, tutus and bathing suits


One of my most favorite quotes of all time is “You must be the change you want to see in the world,” said so famously by Mahatma Gandhi. I couldn’t agree with this sentiment more, I only wish I knew exactly how to “be the change.”


I spend so much time feeling like there is something else I am supposed to be doing, something I am passionate about. I spend so much time daydreaming about this “life,” yet I struggle trying to describe it to others. I find myself saying, I wish I could discover my true passion in life. When I am then confronted about what that would look like, I honestly have a hard time explaining it. Let’s face it, I have no idea.


From as early as I can remember I have struggled with confidence and conflict. You may consider both of these challenges to be some type of stunt of growth during my childhood. I am sure some of it came from when I was younger, but I know that being a woman did not help, either.