Coloring books, SpaghettiOs and The Goonies

Well, it looks like my path to finding my passion will continue to include random 5 a.m. bursts of energy with random rambling thoughts. I always hated the part of writing reports that consisted of outlining your thoughts and arguments. It always felt so unnatural to me. I know there is a very clear and real need and reason to utilize it, however, rambling works best for me to get my thoughts out, in the moment.

Luckily for me, the ability to wake-up nightly, at some point between 3:30 and 5:00 a.m., at least once, is pretty much a guarantee. I often wonder if there is a reason I wake up every night, at least once. I am sure there have been a few occasions when I successful slept through an entire evening, but I am pretty sure the word I should have used in these rare instances was "passed out." Don't get me wrong, I wasn't really a "passed out" kind of person. There is very little I don't "remember" from college, but lets say that even today 3-4 glasses of wine on any given evening can help me, but once again, only until that magic 5 o'clock hour.

As a child I had a real issue, an embarrassing issue that often made sleeping over challenging. Now, while I was and still am petrified of the dark, and while I may not have been 12 or 13 until I finally had successful runs of sleeping over friends houses, wetting the bed was another challenge I faced as a child. I honestly do not remember how old I was when I finally stopped, but I honestly think this is where my night-time wakes ups came from. I had a lot of challenges with sleep when I little. Dorothy's mantra was "Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!" Well, mine would have been "Earaches and bed wetting and the dark, oh my!"

Be the change .......a work in progress

I apologize in advance for posting this a bit prematurely. I am only hoping it inspries me to complete my rantings. I normally get all fired up about something and then I lose the inspiration and don't complete my thoughts. Here's to hoping a premature post will inspire actual completion, for once!

Be the change

Leotards, tutus and bathing suits


One of my most favorite quotes of all time is “You must be the change you want to see in the world,” said so famously by Mahatma Gandhi. I couldn’t agree with this sentiment more, I only wish I knew exactly how to “be the change.”


I spend so much time feeling like there is something else I am supposed to be doing, something I am passionate about. I spend so much time daydreaming about this “life,” yet I struggle trying to describe it to others. I find myself saying, I wish I could discover my true passion in life. When I am then confronted about what that would look like, I honestly have a hard time explaining it. Let’s face it, I have no idea.


From as early as I can remember I have struggled with confidence and conflict. You may consider both of these challenges to be some type of stunt of growth during my childhood. I am sure some of it came from when I was younger, but I know that being a woman did not help, either.

New Year

Ah, the joy of a new year. For the most part it is rather exciting, empowering and refreshing to think of a new year as a time to start over, be re-energized and motivated to maybe "get things right this time around." On the other hand, it is also a bit of pressure to really think of it that way. Sure, there are so many things I would like to work on, improve and strive towards each-and-every day, let along just once a year when the clock strikes midnight on Jan 1st.

As an overweight, slightly unmotivated thirty-something living in the big city with all of the beautiful people, it is fairly easy to get caught up in all that living in New York means when you close your eyes. When I say that, I refer to the New York City you see in the movies and on tv. The New York City you close your eyes and dream about when you think of all of those people saying "I want to make it in New York City." The city is full of beauties, fashionistas, many I could never compete with or compare to.

New Yorkconomics

Every so often I go through a frenzy--deciding that we need to move out of the city. If we ever want to have a savings and if we ever want to be able to pay off our debt, we need to move out of the city. I often talk with my friends who live in other cities (mostly MA) and their draws always drop when they ask me about my rent. I am honestly often embarrassed to admit how much we pay each month to live in a shoebox-sized apartment of 323 square feet. While we constantly say, anything has to be better and bigger than this, it is often a struggle to all survive in our small space. We do love it, as it is ours--well not really, we rent, but you know what I mean--and we adore our neighborhood, but on occasion I get the suburbs itch.

Ahhh, the shoes

Ahhh, the shoes
Well, as a thirty-something living in the city for the past five years, I am constantly feeling inadequate as far as fashion goes. Growing up in a small town in MA, where as an athlete sweatpants, windpants (on yes...the infamous windpants) and sneakers were typical attire. On a crazy day maybe a pair of jeans and a new top.


Regardless, each and every morning when I go to my closet to make that sometimes pain-staking decision of "what will I wear today," I typically reach for those shoes that will provide the most comfort, regardless of their cuteness factor. I have been feeling a bit spiffy and possibly even more fashionable in the 6 days since I entered the 3rd decade of my life (yes folks, just turned 30). Been trying to coordinate shoes, along with jewelry and been sporting my newest bag. Well, the shoe gods were not with me this morning. I should know to always go with comfort over cuteness in the city. Especially since I have quite a walk to and from the subway each morning.