The life of an introvert

I know I have talked about this before and I am not quite sure why it took me so long to come out of the introvert closet. I think for much of my life, I have been super involved. Whether in student government, athletics or as a volunteer. I have always liked staying busy. I think that many times my desire to stay busy could very well come across to some as a tendency of an extrovert. Interesting, because this could not be further from the truth.

My involvement has caused me to really feel like I needed to be an extrovert. I realized I could play the part. I could make myself kind of an extrovert, when necessary. Like much of my personality, I am able to have on-demand traits when appropriate, necessary or when no one else is filling that "void." I think this comes from always feeling like I need to balance out those around me.

If I die tomorrow.....

I have to admit, the magical thinker in me is a bit fearful that this blog will either cause me to jinx myself (and I actually will die tomorrow), or if nothing else trigger an anxiety attack when I suddenly begin believing that each ache, pain and quickened heart beat is in fact terminal.

I have been thinking about this a lot lately, how precious and fragile life is and how none of us know how much time we have left. It can be scary and it can be inspiring. It can be scary, for me anyways, because I feel like there is so much I would want my loved ones to know. You never know if you will get to say good bye and you want nothing more than for your loved ones to be ok. It scares me to think I could die and never get to say thank you, I love you, I am sorry, I forgive you or I understand.